Relationships come in all shapes and sizes, and non-monogamous relationships like throuples are gaining more recognition in today’s society.

A throuple—also known as a three-person relationship—is a dynamic where three people share a committed connection, offering a refreshing alternative to traditional monogamous relationship styles.

With more people exploring ethical non-monogamy, relationship types like throuples, open relationships, and other forms of polyamory are becoming increasingly visible. However, navigating these relationship dynamics comes with unique challenges, especially when it comes to understanding how Australian family law applies to non-traditional setups.

This article, put together by some of our family lawyers here at Unified Lawyers, explores the concept of throuples and other non-monogamous relationship styles, debunks common myths, and sheds light on the legal complexities they face. Whether you’re curious about the topic or seeking advice for your own three-way relationship, we’ll help you uncover how these relationships work and what to consider moving forward.

What’s the difference between a throuple and other forms of polyamory?

While a throuple is a type of polyamorous relationship (poly relationship), it has distinct characteristics that set it apart from other non-monogamous relationship styles. A throuple involves a committed relationship between three people who actively participate in the dynamic together, often as equal partners.

Polyamory, on the other hand, is an umbrella term that encompasses a wide variety of non-monogamous relationships. These may include open relationships, where partners date or form connections with others outside the core relationship, or polycules, which can involve multiple interconnected partnerships.

One key difference lies in the focus of the relationship. In a throuple, the connection typically revolves around the three people involved as a cohesive unit. This might mean shared living arrangements, collective decision-making, or mutual emotional investment. In other polyamorous setups, partners may have multiple individual relationships that operate more independently.

For example, a throuple might involve three partners who all share equal footing and view their bond as their ideal relationship style. Meanwhile, a polyamorous person in an open relationship might have one primary partner while exploring connections with others.

Ultimately, throuples represent one of many ways polyamorous folks can approach love and relationships. The key is finding a dynamic that works for the people involved and prioritising clear communication, respect, and mutual consent.

Throuples and Australian family law

While throuples and other non-monogamous relationships are gaining social recognition, Australian family law has yet to fully address the legal complexities surrounding these relationship types. Under current laws, only two-person relationships, such as marriages or de facto partnerships, are formally recognised. This lack of recognition can present unique challenges for throuples, especially when it comes to matters like property division, child custody, and financial agreements.

Throuples do not fit neatly into the existing framework for de facto relationships or marriages. In disputes involving property or finances, only two partners may have legal standing under Australian law. This can leave the third person in a throuple without the same legal protections or rights, even if they have contributed significantly to the relationship or shared household.

When children are involved, navigating custody arrangements becomes even more complex. Australian family law prioritises the best interests of the child, but it does not provide clear guidance on how to account for three parental figures. This can make it difficult for throuples to establish co-parenting agreements or advocate for equal rights in raising their children.

What to consider before entering a throuple

Deciding to enter a throuple is a significant step, and it’s essential to approach it thoughtfully. While a three-person relationship can be deeply rewarding, it also comes with unique dynamics and responsibilities. Here are some key considerations:

1. Are all partners equally interested and committed?

Throuples thrive when all three people share a mutual desire to build the relationship. If one partner feels hesitant or unsure, it’s crucial to address their concerns openly before moving forward.

2. How will you manage communication?

Clear communication is the cornerstone of any successful relationship, and it’s especially important in throuples. Regular check-ins, setting boundaries, and openly discussing emotions can help ensure everyone feels heard and valued.

3. What are your expectations and boundaries?

Defining the structure of your throuple is essential. Will it be an equal partnership among all three, or will certain dynamics take precedence? Discuss expectations around intimacy, decision-making, and day-to-day interactions to avoid misunderstandings later on.

4. Are you prepared for potential challenges?

Jealousy, time management, and external judgment are common challenges in throuples. Being proactive about addressing these issues and seeking solutions together can help strengthen your bond.

5. Have you considered the practicalities?

Logistical aspects, such as living arrangements, financial responsibilities, and legal protections, should be carefully planned. Creating agreements or seeking legal advice can help safeguard everyone’s interests.

Entering a throuple requires emotional readiness, mutual commitment, and a shared vision for the future. By taking these factors into account, you can build a relationship that works for everyone involved.