Domestic and Family Violence: Is it a Reality in Your Home?

What relationships can be impacted by domestic and family violence?

Domestic violence is abuse committed by a current or former partner, spouse, de facto, or someone else in an intimate relationship with the victim. Family violence is a broader definition that covers violence committed by parents, children and other relatives, or carers of the victim.

Domestic and family violence can happen in any home and family, but some people are more vulnerable to domestic and family violence than others.

You are most likely to be a victim of domestic violence if you are a woman or a child. However, women and children also commit domestic violence, and men can be victims of abuse by women, children, and other men.

You are more likely to be a victim of domestic violence if you live in a regional area, have a low income, identify as LGBTIQ, have a disability, are elderly, or if you are an Aboriginal or Torres Strait Islander person.

Simply put, the more vulnerable you are as a member of society, the more likely you are to be victimised within your own home.

What are the signs of domestic and family violence?

The obvious signs of domestic and family violence are physical injuries. But there are more subtle signs that can be associated with domestic and family violence. If someone’s mood changes – for instance, if they become depressed, anxious or nervous – this might be a sign that something is going on at home.

Someone who receives an unusual number of calls or messages from their partner could be in a controlling relationship. If you start to see a friend or family member less often than previously, they may be being isolated.

Some abusive behaviours – such as jealousy and possessiveness – are even glamorised in books and movies.  In Stephanie Meyer’s Twilight, for instance, the much older boyfriend stalks the teenage object of his affection, and breaks into her bedroom to watch her sleep. Young people need help to understand that what might seem romantic can be a sign of an abusive relationship, and that this coercive behaviour can quickly escalate to physical violence.

Even for the victim it can be difficult to determine whether an act is domestic and family violence. For instance, what is the difference between “economic abuse” and simply having a partner who is careful with money? If both partners agree that they have financial goals that involve being careful with money, this is not economic abuse. But if one partner prevents the other partner from accessing money for everyday needs, then this is not about shared financial goals: it is about one person controlling the other.

How does domestic and family violence impact victims?

Domestic and family violence leads to physical injury for far too many victims every year, yet victims sometimes report that the physical assaults are not the most damaging parts of the abuse. Rather, the months or years of constant insults, humiliation and intimidation, the stress of walking on eggshells around an explosive family member, and the social isolation, are sometimes the factors that lead to the most damage to the victim.

Children exposed to family and domestic violence are more likely to become depressed, anxious or anti-social, and have more difficulty making friends. They are more likely to perform poorly in school and are more likely to get into trouble with the police as teenagers. They are also more likely to be in abusive relationships themselves as adults, either as a victim or a perpetrator of abuse.

Is there any protection from domestic violence?

Every state and territory in Australia has laws that protect victims of domestic and family violence. The protection orders have different names (including Intervention Orders (VIC & SA), Family Violence Orders (TAS), Apprehended Domestic Violence Orders (NSW), Domestic Violence Order (ACT, QLD & NT)) but in every location you can apply for an order that requires the abuser to stop committing the acts of violence, and to stay a certain distance away from you, your home and place of work. The order can also protect other members of your family or household.

A protection order is a civil order, but it is a crime to breach the rules of the order and the abuser may face criminal prosecution. The police may also apply for a protection order for a victim of family and domestic violence.

You can get information about how to request a protection order where you live on the Federal Government’s Family Violence Law website.